also, i realised that i never talked about what happened during his auto session. when i went in, he started signing my first blade, and i asked him if i could tell him something really quick. he said sure, so i told him that i just wanted to thank him because if it wasn’t for him, then i wouldn’t be here today. he kind of nodded, so i figured he’d probably heard that a lot before. i then went on to tell him that it was because of him that i named myself dean when i transitioned. he looked up at me, and his whole face just lit up. he got up, and we hugged for a full ten seconds or so, and he was telling me in my ear that he was so proud of me, and just holding me so tight. when he sat back down, he said, ‘thank you for telling me that. you seem like such a brave person.’ to which i replied, 'i honestly don’t know how i’m not crying right now, mate.’ he laughed, and then we hi-fived. and then apparently he talked about me in his coffee lounge, which is so fucking surreal.